“you’relate!” Armitage scritches. “keepyourhaton,we’rehere,ain’twe?” “stickthisnumberonthedoggy” Armitage thrusts a No.11 rosette into her handpaw. Stonks and Poppet stand at the edge of the showground with loads other fourlegs. Sitting, reclining, licking at essentials, and all hard eyeballing Poppet. Oi, shaggy teets, brains not beauty wanted, init? Sasha, the cute Shih Tzu, spits. Shuttit, fluffy butt growlsContinue reading “POPPET – PART 3”


The bright hot ball is high in the sky.  Herdwick pooping park is full of hindlegs enjoying the summer fayre. “Cockfest,Poppet,purecockfest!” Stonks sweats orange-sniffy lust. One handpaw covering her chops in a frenzy of excitement, other tightly clutching Poppet’s lead. Stop it! Yor sh-strangling me Stonks don’t listen.  She’ surveying the lie of the land. Continue reading “POPPET – PART 2”

A Quick Pint Down the Pig & Ferret

Wot? Big beastie outside? That’s Mucky Ducks, Anatolian Shepherd, init? Nah, she ain’t a Kangol. That’s pure Turkish, init? Mucky Ducks got other breeds in her but most people don’t know that. Same difference really. Yeah, she’s from our camp just over the bridge, init. Wot? Nah, she’s a great laugh with other dogs –Continue reading “A Quick Pint Down the Pig & Ferret”

A Quick Pint Down the Pig & Ferret

Sure I’ve seen him around – and smelled him. Eek! But even if you miss the stink you can’t miss the one ear on it. Think it’s a Staffy. I mean a Staffordshire bull terrier. But who can really tell with them mongrel street dogs. Corrs I don’t know it’s name. I mean, haven’t askedContinue reading “A Quick Pint Down the Pig & Ferret”


Today is the International Dog Day. If you love muttwits, why not do the following: Go for a long walk in a new place. Most dogs love exploring new and interesting places with their best friend. Bake a dog friendly treat. Donate to your local animal shelter. Tell your muttwit you love them. …and ifContinue reading “INTERNATIONAL DOG DAY – AUGUST 26TH”


Corss, getting to Tesco Extra demands plenty of marker-squirting along the way. Lampposts, council trash bins, the traffic lights at the corner of High Street and Nelson Avenue, and that suspicious cardboard box left outside the sour sniffing Oxfam clothes shop. Sasha! states GitOrrf! licking at some female squirtz on the pavement. Nah mate, MayumiContinue reading “DONUTS – PART 3”