“Checkers? Who’s askin’ then? Useless mutt. Was normal when ‘e ‘ad four pins, lyk, but now..? There’s a reason I never bring him down the P and F. Three legs! Enough to put yuz off your pint and scratchlings, init!
But ‘is talents lie elsewhere, know wot I mean? Wot helps with the lawful apprehensions of street mutts, trainings of sheep dogs, and security of me valuables – erh guests wotz living on me farm and lookin’ out for happy families to buy ‘ems.
Nah, Checkers does alright if I keep him to the straight and narrows with a light kicking.