“Me name’s Alex and I live at the Pig & Ferret – er, on the doorstep outside, to be honest. I share it with a scruffy Border Terrier what’s called Charly. A lazy piece of work what sits about all day and sheds hairs on my sleeping bag…get oorff! I keep telling him, but he don’t. Nah, love him really.
Why am I sleeping rough outside the pub? Coz, I got one leg and it’s tough holding down a job. Ain’t my fault, izit?. That’s one pound for all the intel, thank you very much. And have a nice day sir!”